24/8/12
I woke up in the intensive care unit. I couldn’t move and so assumed the surgery went badly. I had a tube down my throat and I was vomiting. It was messy. Man, I felt like I was drowning and I could not do a thing to help myself. I felt like screaming but I couldn’t even talk.
Then Dee was next to me crying but smiling at the same time. She told me that the surgeon had assessed me following surgery and was confident I would get much of my function back. Things like walking and talking and swallowing. I felt so relieved.
A day or two later I woke up not knowing where I was. I couldn’t really move and all I could see was white. I thought it was a wall but it could have been a ceiling. It was really quiet so I called out but no one came. I just kept looking at whatever it was that was white. I realised that I couldn’t tell which way was vertical and which way was horizontal. It was bizarre. I felt like I was floating in space. Something wasn’t right. It was as though someone had gone inside my head and tinkered with my electrics!